Sunday, August 24, 2008

Engage the Caterpillar Drive!

I am, like all patriotic Americans, a sucker for receiving "free" trinkets in exchange for giving someone sums of money. As such, I have given the Obama campaign a smallish sum of money in exchange for a free bumper magnet and a free t-shirt. I would like to think that the come-on that these are "First Edition!" Obama-Biden magnets and shits had nothing to do with my decision to donate, but can't, as I made the donation.

If you're like me, you won't want to pass up your chance to make this world a better place by seeing Obama-Biden elected to office and get free stuff which, I understand, would make you the first on your block to possess what will surely become the most treasured item in your house (unless you have kids. Or a dog. Or one of those $150 toasters).

Thirty bones for a t-shirt.

Fifteen turnips for a bumper magnet.

You now, if each one of us true Americans, we little guys, we toilers and workers and kid raisers and guys who make the donuts, gave just a small amount to our preferred political candidate, then maybe we could take our country away from the special interests and labor bosses corporations and lobbyists, and once again make America the greatest country on Earth and earn the right to dominate the rest of the world and have all peoples serve our interests, like under JFK. It reminds me of the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin, when the world trembled at the sound of our rockets, now let them tremble at the sound of our micro-donations.

3 comments:

ss said...

I have neither bones nor turnips. Do they take clams?

lex dexter said...

when would you say was the last time that the USA was the Greatest Country On Earth?

and who would you identify as the greatest country on earth today?

dave3544 said...

Alright, fine. England/Great Britain has always been the greatest country on earth and always will be. I was using rhetoric to get the troops fired up. jeebus.