Thursday, November 20, 2008

prisonship self-cleaning survey utensil

is it more precious - more presumptuous - to describe your dreams or your bowel movements in conversation with another?

do you ever describe either? do you never describe neither? to how many people? are the people you talk to about "elimination" the same people you talk to about being back in junior high but, like, with elephant hands or whatever it is you people dream?

aren't dreams waste matter, or dirt (i.e., "matter out of place"), even if we mean "waste matter" in the elevated manner of Julia Kristeva's "abject?"

bonus points: who's ever dreamed of going to the bathroom? who hasn't? high praise to anybody who has fallen asleep (and dreamed a memorable dream) while going to the bathroom.


RK said...

I once had a dream I was camping and had to get out of the tent to go pee. I walked into my kitchen and peed in the oven.

dr said...

Personally I would rather hear about a bowel movement. I'm pretty sure that manners cut the other way.

Also, it took me awhile to parse the first sentence because I took the key phrase to read, "dreams of bowel movements," which made the grammar (and other things) mysterious.

Ky'all McCaterbear said...

Good one, RK.

I talk about both, but cautiously. Dreams can be far more boring, but somehow MY dreams seem to regularly freak people out. Like, NC-17 Cronenburg meets a lifetime of my own self-doubt and pity.

Angela said...

my grandmother is 94 and ever since i can remember has asked me about my bowel movements almost every time i see/talk to her. i know, it's a cliche, but i've grown to really appreciate the "down to business" sincerity of it. she claims that this informs her as to "how i'm really doing." i often interpret my dreams as emotional barometers in the same way, but i think that's indulgent.
Because of these conversations with her, i seem to talk about poop way more than other people. sometimes i just forget that this isn't "polite" conversation. i just kinda grew up talking about poop and the significance of it- even interpreting it.
i'll often jubilantly announce to others that i'm going to poop or make up cheery songs when my husband poops. it's like if i poop, i know everything is okay. some people think it's funny, but it makes others nervous. all i'm saying is that your dreams can be misleading meandering nonsensical leftovers but poop never lies.

Oh, here's a bit of lore- in Brazil there was dog poop everywhere on the sidewalk- we called the corner where our apartment was located "poop corner" because people would just take their dogs there to relieve themselves.

one day i saw a turd standing on its end and declared to my husband that it was good luck when you saw poop standing on end. it came out of my mouth before i had time to think about it. i would then be thrilled every time i saw this "phenomenon" and would in turn have a brighter day. those were tough times (we did live on "poop corner" after all), but this proved to me that under stress i can develop some surprising coping skills- and it all goes back to poop.

RK said...

I have a great book about how cultures deal with the subject of poop. It's called "Poop Culture":

I highly recommend it.

Wilbur said...

I don't really dream that much anymore. If I do, I don't remember the dreams I do have (if I have any) at all. No memory whatsoever. Due to this, I am generally forced into talking about my Big Jobz. I don't necessarily make any bones about who I disclose this information to. I just kinda get a sense as to whether or not they're cool with the subject of my B.M.'s. I guess my compulsion to relay this type of information may stem from an academic background heavily rooted in Bataille. The very nature of shit is a slippery one, indeed, but I'm of the opinion at this point that Humanity=Waste. This isn't something to be fearful of, but rather something to celebrate. Once you realize that your destiny is to Eat, Sleep, Fuck, Shit, and Die (but maybe not in that particular order...well, except for the eating coming before shitting part), it's an awfully liberating experience. It's something to embrace. Defecation is the ultimate leveling ground for all gender, religious, ethnic, cultural, etc. differences amongst people. We can't all be mommies and daddies, but we can ALL give "Fecal Birth."