Sunday, November 16, 2008

Next Up: Supplemental Watercooler

I was watching some television programing and a commercial for Aflac came on. Everyone knows I love ducks, so I was hooked in for the full fifteen seconds. This particular ad was touting Aflac for business. One of the main selling points was that I could provide Aflac for my employees "at no direct cost" to my company. I am somewhat familiar with the health insurance field, so I know that in the employer-provided insurance world, there are generally only two payers, the employer and/or the employee. It seemed as if Aflac was encouraging me to provide my employees with the benefits of supplemental insurance by making them pay for it themselves. Since the words "benefit," "provide," and "pay for it yourself" are not naturally found in the same sentence, I thought I'd check out the website.

I first learned that adding Aflac benefits was a great way to attract and retain quality employees. Seems reasonable. Lord knows that if any other union offered me supplemental insurance, I'd drop the GTFF like yesterday's hush puppies.

The second thing I learned was that I could do this at no cost to my company. This was, of course, what we were here for. How could I attract top-notch employees without paying a dime for it? Here's how:
Aflac’s policies are 100% employee-paid and are purchased on a voluntary basis. Many companies choose to make Aflac policies available as a cost-effective solution to help employees with the rising cost of out-of-pocket health care expenses.

Sweet Jeebus! Apparently, I can not only attract super-duper employees with the promise of teh deluxe in supplemental insurance, but I can get my employees to pay for it themselves, and...and...I am being lead to realize...that I can stop paying those burdensome health insurance costs once I have provided my employees with the opportunity to buy their own supplemental insurance! I might have to maintain some sort of minimum coverage, but still, combine these savings with the increased profits I'll be making with my A-1 workforce, and I'll be able to finally start living the small businessman's dream. Unlimited coke and hookers, here I come!


lex dexter said...

somewhere in yr darkest mind, you know damn well this is what "national health insurance" may end up looking like.

ash said...

Although I know, rationally, that I should engage with the frightening possibility Lex introduces, instead (for now) I am going to stick my fingers in my ears, hum la la la and seize on a throw-away line from this post (not that anything dave writes is ever throw-away, of course) to respond: mmmmmm....hush puppies. Not sure what's going to happen with the future of health insurance, but I have a big container of leftover hush puppies in my fridge if anyone cares to join me.