It’s the day on which Canadians celebrate… well, we’re not exactly sure what. It’s probably the day we told them they didn’t have to be the fifty-first state (which we can revoke at any time!) or something like that. In fact, most of my fellow countryfolk are only aware of Canadians' distinct language, their cheap medications, and the horribly long lines to see a doctor, even if their lungs are falling out. It’s true. Look it up.
But we should endeavor to learn more about our neighbors up north, the Dennises and Brians of the world. For example, did you know that many Famous Americans were actually born in Canadia? The Guy from Jeopardy, for example, who not only has the brains, he’s got the ggggrrrrrrrr…
Or what about that lovable Alex P. Keaton, who was able to break away from the Canadian hippie liberalism of his parents and show the world the sunny face of Reaganism?
And of course, Pamela Anderson’s dedication to her acting craft and to her family inspires my patriot…
And lastly, who can argue that the heights of Canadian culture don’t rival our own?
Had The X-Files been filmed in Canada, or if the New Pornographers were Canadian, maybe they could have produced something as fantastic as those clips.
So there you have it, fellow Americans. Now pop open a Molson’s and salute our hockey-playin’ friends in the Great White North, confident in your better cultural understanding. And on Friday, we’ll show ‘em what a real kickass national holiday looks like!
No comments:
Post a Comment