Why Am I on the Internet Right Now, It Can't End Well

Read the comments section at Town Hall about the Tracy Morgan thing. Conflicting thoughts. These people are in the political ascendancy in this country; their thoughts are more stream than ours. But they lash out because they are small and afraid all the time.

I'd rather be in the political minority, I think.

Maybe Everyone Already Figured This Out. Sorry.

I bet that about now there are a good many Democratic Senators saying to their House colleagues "You remember those Tea Party assholes you put up with all summer? You want those cocksuckers to actually win?"

How good might it be to have it turn out that the Tea Partyers actually cause health care reform to happen?

Ya think?

A checker at the local grocery store was just speculating that Cheech and Chong may, may, have been stoned while making the movie Up in Smoke. He doesn't know for sure, but you gotta think maybe they were.

A moral dilema

Is it wrong that I just spent a decent amount of time wondering which would upset me more - the death of one of my cats or the breaking of my favorite hammer?

Is it wronger that I still don't know. I mean cats are cats, but the perfect pipe is something special.

Always nice to find an offer like this in your inbox

Reminder--Order FREE Organizing Materials Today

This is not going to end well

In times past there was a prevailing wisdom that the violence stemming from the drug war equated to just one drug dealer killing another and after they finished killing each other off, things would go back to being peaceful and all would be well— this theory is no longer valid.

Dig it

I'll go to my grave arguing that Eve of Destruction is one of the all-time great songs.

One of those moments

Should the thought that Happy Gilmore could have probably gotten a loan with which to buy his grandma's house, at least after he got on the tour, have occurred to me a long time ago or not at all?

TGIF

Joker, smoker, midnight toker

Kathleen Parker

Of Course It's a "Water" Pipe

Radley over at the Agitator nails it on the Michael Phelps thing.

A Letter I’d Like To See (But Won’t)
Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Dear America,

I take it back. I don’t apologize.

Because you know what? It’s none of your goddamned business. I work my ass off 10 months per year. It’s that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that’s a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.

read on...

As a good friend of mine likes to say, the tyranny and the bullshit have gone on too long.

beyond academic emo: prisonship inventory of sentiments/commodities

one of the things that stinks about giving advice is how platitudinous, catch-all and relatively hollow our hard-earned lessons sound when churned out in sentence-form. thus, you'll understand how i half-grimaced, half-mewed long ago when a certain family member told me earnestly how

things seem like they're going great guns for you, Pat. and that's really great. I'm proud. and you need to really make sure you enjoy these times, Pat. cuz it's sure as shooting that there'll be times when the world rains cats and dogs upon you. enjoy these times, Pat, cuz eventually times'll suck eggs, and, by extension, you'll suck, too.

"sure," i'd thought at the time. sounds reasonable enough - like a paraphrase of a parable from a Randy Newman song, or something. and it is reasonable - shit, it's probably even "true," (i'd thunk.) but that was all before the current conjuncture, when oddly enough, graduate school got hard again. (i know, who'd've thunk it? you could knock me over with a feather.)

now, i have a lot of uncomfortable things in my life, like everybody else: some things - by no means all - that are much more uncomfortable than grad school's sudden difficulty. but grad school is something tuff that is both "personal" and "general" enough as to be appropriate for weblogs (aka, "blogs.") so here we go with a thoroughoing personal inventory in light of this recent, panic-attack-ish element to "school," which once was a padded cell for holding-forth, but which is now a caged structure reminiscent of "Hell in a Cell."
Part 1. Problem Areas

1. Health and welfare? Oh no. I've had some sort of walking plague since I boarded that aeroplane last Weds. Clammy hands, cough, headache, shakes, sniffles, snot, phlegm, etc. All the rest (upset tummy, too!)
   
2. Social Encounters? Nope. Does Election Night count? I barfed.
   
3. Eating Right? More like, "eating out." 'Can't afford it, but also can't seem to stop, or, can't seem to take the time to cook.
   
4. Body/Mind, Work/Life Balance? Oh, p'shaw. My body is a two-legged sack of balloons. My skin is the consistency of a paper shopping bag, but it looks like a potato sack because there are tuffs of hair pasted on to the bag (, which holds balloons of various sizes).

But that's just the downside. See me, I gotta lotta upside in my life. Part 2. Upsides

1. Herself: But that's obvious. We're like the Footprints Prayer over here in the Brown House. Or Smith and Jones, in that Silver Jews number.
   
2. SonicYouth/SonVolt/Slint(/Springsteen?!?): update post soon.
3. Shoegaze: It matches the weather. In particular I've listened to the magnetic morning full-length thrice since I e-music'd it yesterday (even notwithstanding the american apparel-ish alb cover). Do you guys do the emusic? I'd like to, uh, monitor yr playlists and share recommendations with you.
   
4. Over-the-counter cold medicines: this has to stop. Not sure they help at all. I just like the plop-plop, fizz-fizz aesthetic. (Honorable mention: cough drops [not lozenges.] "Honey-lemon" and "eucolyptus," specifically.)
   
5. It's sweater weather: what? This post has 'emo' in its title. Do you need a road map?
6. Cardinology vinyl pack: 'love the t-shirt, 'haven't rocked the bonus 7" yet...comic book is awesome. Lengthy alb review coming soon. Commenter David, among others, received a warped 12". 'Mine has a surface scratch but no audible flaws.
   
7. Crime Novels: crime novels in particular, Ross MacDonald and Lawrence Block in particular. I'm going back to the well, even opting to crack the seal on what may be the last (?!?) of the Matt Scudder novels, certainly the last one I haven't yet read.
8. "Organizing Grievances" and organizing grievances: top-shelf!
   
9. The return of implicitly (not explicitly) lewd texts/emails/voice messages/ground mailings from evil r+b: how long until I start posting poems again, at this rate?
   
10. Chris Matthews: much to a lotta peoples' chagrin(s), including, sometimes, mine.
    
11. French fries: yeah, there's this place just a block away from the Brown House that makes, I think, the best french fries in Eugene. (Better yet, they come with a special "french fry dipping sauce" that features horseradish, but nonetheless reminds me of the famous white sauce" that accompanied the mozzarella sticks back at Shenanigans', where cool kids like evil r + b once glommed underage frat sodas.) Eugenians, which restaurant do you think has the best fries? I'm prepared to get exploratory about starch this Rainy Season.
    

so anyway, there's the nov 2008 catalog. what works for you when "times" are "tuff"?

Our thunder. Stolen.

First they rip off the name of our beloved GTFF newsletter.

Then they post content which, in a just world, would first appear on our blog.

Jerks.

More News You Already Knew

You can try to convince me otherwise, but I am seriously convinced that the Beastie Boys were on drugs when they made Check Your Head.

We Can't Say We Weren't Warned

Lips and I have been reading the wingnuts over at Townhall all afternoon. In the course of our comments perusal, we came across a man (?) named retired geek who, no matter what the subject, had the most incoherent things to say. As it happens when you're surfing, we click on his name hoping it took us to further adventures of retired geek, possibly on his very own blog. We were thinking that he might have some obscure blog containing his unread rantings, but he actually has a blog at Townhall itself. They love his rantings too, but in a different way.

His blog is, in a word, awesome. One post in particular stands out. We were going to post it here, but then we read the comments where we came upon a sad bit of news. Apparently, the retired geek will only allow his his posts to be reposted in the interest of fighting reds. Or as he put it:

As long as you are fighting communisim or socialism you have my permission to post anything I post.

We were set to pay this no never mind, but he followed up with this:

They are to be used for reference only to be used to defeat communisim.

In a word, fuck. But it really, really is too good not to repost and we do so in the spirit of an anti-communist, socialist-type way. Fuck Stalin! Go Debs!

Here are the 45 Communist Goals from 1963 in full. Enjoy.

Communists 45 Goals in 1963

Posted by Geek Perspective on Monday, August 18, 2008 9:50:15 PM

Communist Takeover of America - 45 Declared Goals

You are about to read a list of 45 goals that found their way down the halls of our great Capitol back in 1963. As you read this, 39 years later, you should be shocked by the events that have played themselves out. I first ran across this list 3 years ago but was unable to attain a copy and it has bothered me ever since. Recently, Jeff Rense posted it on his site and I would like to thank him for doing so. http://www.rense.com

Communist Goals (1963) Congressional Record--Appendix, pp. A34-A35 January 10, 1963

Current Communist Goals EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES Thursday, January 10, 1963 .

Mr. HERLONG. Mr. Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Nordman of De Land, Fla., is an ardent and articulate opponent of communism, and until recently published the De Land Courier, which she dedicated to the purpose of alerting the public to the dangers of communism in America.

At Mrs. Nordman's request, I include in the RECORD, under unanimous consent, the following "Current Communist Goals," which she identifies as an excerpt from "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen:

[From "The Naked Communist," by Cleon Skousen]

1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.

2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.

3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.

4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.

5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.

6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.

7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.

8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev's promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.

9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.

10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.

11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)

12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.

13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.

14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.

15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.

16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.

17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers' associations. Put the party line in textbooks.

18. Gain control of all student newspapers.

19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.

20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policy-making positions.

21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.

22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to "eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms."

23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. "Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art."

24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them "censorship" and a violation of free speech and free press.

25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.

26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as "normal, natural, healthy."

27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with "social" religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity, which does not need a "religious crutch."

28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of "separation of church and state."

29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.

30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the "common man."

31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the "big picture." Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.

32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture--education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.

33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.

34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.

35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI.

36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.

37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.

38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].

39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.

42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use ["]united force["] to solve economic, political or social problems.

43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government.

44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.

45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike.

Note by Webmaster: The Congressional Record back this far has not be digitized and posted on the Internet.

It will probably be available at your nearest library that is a federal repository. Call them and ask them. Your college library is probably a repository. This is an excellent source of government records. Another source are your Congress Critters. They should be more than happy to help you in this matter. You will find the Ten Planks of the Communist Manifesto interesting at this point.

Webmaster Forest Glen Durland found the document in the library.

Sources are listed below.

Microfilm: California State University at San Jose Clark Library, Government Floor Phone (408)924-2770 Microfilm Call Number: J 11.R5

Congressional Record, Vol. 109 88th Congress, 1st Session Appendix Pages A1-A2842 Jan. 9-May 7, 1963 Reel 12

1963- The Year That Changed America

By Greg Swank

Do It. Do It Now.

Organize some grievances and then throw Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" on the platter.

Follow that up with some Heart, Quarterflash, The Motels, and Pat Bentar and you and I are having some fun.

Department of Hookers and Blow

All this time I've been thinking the action was in the Crystal City hotels across the interstate from the Pentagon. Who knew that the party was happening over at Interior? Next I suppose we'll be learning that the BLM actually stands for Booze, Lechers, and Meth.

What happened to good drug etiquette?

Thanks to the NYT, I spent the evening familiarizing myself with the whole genre of Salvia trip YouTube videos (as an added bonus, it's also the first time I recall having seen the word "bong" appear in the Times). Back in my younger and wilder days, I was no stranger to all manner of psychedelics, and to be perfectly honest, I enjoyed them. Salvia, however, was my least favorite - I tried it once and had the worst experience of my life. It wasn't a good time. Some people enjoy it, and that's fine by me, but it's definitely not my cup of ('shroom) tea.

Watching the videos, though, made me realize we were downright civilized in our little adventures. A few thoughts:

• Tim Leary always talked about "set and setting" in having a good trip. We always managed to either be outside in a safe environment, at a show or club, or some comfy place to chill out. Watching these jokers get blasted in their dingy apartments doesn't seem like a lot of fun to me.
• You know what sucks when you're tripping? People pointing and laughing, and some jerk trying to "trip you out" with some sort of nonsense. People, just let the person enjoy their voyage.
• You know what would've sucked even more? Someone waving a camera in my face and documenting my trip.
• And really, posting it on YouTube? I don't care if the shit's legal, broadcasting to the world how fucked up you were is one of the stupidest uses of technology I've seen.

Take the advice from someone who's "been there," kids - turn off the camera, light up a doob, put on Dark Side of the Moon, and just relax. It's much easier on your constitution.

< /cranky old man >

Oh, fuck it. This one's pretty fucking funny.

And now, I digress

I've laid off the celebrity blogging for awhile now, mainly because celebrity antics no longer shock me. Really, how long can I go on spouting about drug-fueled escapades, gratuitous cooter shots, and fucked-up interpersonal relationships? It's all pretty fucking boring.

However, I'll make an exception for Amy Winehouse who, against all odds, appears to have OD'd on weed:

It was following this second overdose in July that doctors are worried her brain was damaged by the cannabis overdose after she displayed symptoms normally associated with schizophrenia.

The Back to Black star inhaled an 'inhuman' amount of hash that left her vomiting uncontrollably and hallucinating, according to her pal.

Back in the day, I'll 'fess up to some marathon pot-smoking sessions and methods of ingestion that turned the little weed into a hard drug (gravity bongs, anyone?). I've gotten so high that I... fell asleep.

But to smoke so much as to overdose and cause cognitive dysfunction? I have a hard time believing that it was solely hash-fueled, but damn - that shit's fucked up.

Oh, What a Night!

I watched Obama rock my world. The OG did well. I got to talk to my friends. I played poker, which involved a group of us TWICE singing the UO fight song in the face of a Husky. Drank a bottle of cheap wine. Listened to this: loud enough that my ears still kind of hurt an hour later.

Now I am organizing the hell out of some grievances and trying to figure out the "plot" of Ghost Rider.

You know, sometimes life is pretty awesome.

And I try not to remember that the ability for me to enjoy my life is built on a mountain of exploitation.