Dear Ralph, It's Over

Frack me. I have defended Ralph Nader and supported his quixotic and increasingly narcissistic campaigns for more years than I care to admit. I gave the man my vote for President three times -- which is, depending on where you fall on the "a vote for Nader was a vote for Bush" unpleasantness from 2000, at least one time too many. (To put matters in perspective, I'm only old enough to have voted in four presidential elections, ya'll.)

I hear he's running again this year, which is...unfortunate. I've tried to just look the other way and pretend not to notice, like when a good friend gets shitfaced and pisses themselves in a corner at a party. Then he has to go and do this. (Zombie) Jeebus, Ralph. WTF am I supposed to think about this shit?

There’s only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He’s half African-American. Whether that will make any difference, I don’t know. I haven’t heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What’s keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn’t want to appear like Jesse Jackson?

The true believer in me want to insist that he must have been misquoted or his remarks taken out of context -- something, anything. There must be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, right? Sadly, no.

I guess what other folks have been saying for years is true. The man apparently has no shame. It's over between us, Ralph. Before I just wanted to see other candidates. But now I just want to be done with you for good.