Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I'm Getting a Little Sick of Josh Hamilton

This man took the cream and the clear, broke several home run records, and is arguably the most hated man in baseball. Or out of baseball, as his crime was apparently so heinous that he is now unemployable in baseball, despite the fact that he had the best OBP in the majors last year. Except that he has not been found guilty of anything (yet) and no one is quite sure he broke any Major League Baseball rules when he took whatever it is that he might have took.

This man took the Mexican Brown and the Columbian White, found Jesus, and is now the most loved man in all of baseball. If one could count the number of times he was called a hero last night, then one would officially qualify as a supercomputer. In interviews he drops so many references to Jesus, you would think he drives for NASCAR and Jesus is the team sponsor. He broke several Major League Baseball rules (in addition to a few federal laws), was suspended for a time, but has been welcomed back with open arms. I imagine there are many Major League teams that would love to have him on their roster.

Now there are many reasons for the disparity in treatment between these two men. Congress has not held hearings on the national tragedy of baseball players using the hard stuff. Josh Hamilton has not broken any records of people revered by Baby Boomers. Bonds famously hates talking to the media. Hamilton never passes up the opportunity to yammer on about how awesome Jesus is. Hamilton has an adorable Southern accent, and baseball is nothing if not romantic about chaw-spitting men with Southern accents. Which brings us to the point, I guess. One major difference between evil Barry and saintly Josh is that one is black and one is white. I am sure, however, that this makes no difference whatsoever.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ouch-- john rocker... still.. hurts.

dave3544 said...

I lived next door to him when he pitched for Eugene. At least I think I did. I could be proved wrong, but I'm 77% sure.

EZ said...

Big surprise... I disagree.

Barry is a CHEATER. Steroids are performance enhancing. For cheebus sake's the man's feet grew from size 11 to 13 in adulthood. He lied to the grand jury and of it weren't for the Bush (in)justice dept's foot dragging, he would be convicted.

Josh (I know nothing of the man, but) according to you has used drugs, and this improved his performance how? if anything it is remarkable that someone could succeed at baseball and have a heroin addiction.

It has little to do with race, and everything to do with not liking teh cheaters...

dr said...

Barry Bonds is a hero for us all.

dave3544 said...

Oh, I know EZ, Bonds did whatever it took to be the best at what he did for a living. UNFORGIVABLE! Josh Hamilton only encouraged the drug violence that is destroying Americas inner cities.

Okay, even I can't believe I am writing this shit. I am not a Bonds fan. Thought baseball should have had the stones to stop him from breaking the home run record.

That said, if Hamilton was a black man we would not be falling all over ourselves to call him a hero and the greatest thing since lines of coke. If Bonds were white, we'd have found a way to forgive him.

ash said...

"greatest thing since lines of coke" = priceless