Holy shit is PETA stupid

Seriously. They're really fucking stupid.

Surrogates

(via tbogg)

No. Fucking. Shame.

John McCain is a fucking liar:

"I think she's most qualified of any that has run recently for vice president, tell you the truth," McCain said, citing her experience as a small-town mayor and Alaska governor. He added: "Bill Clinton was pretty well derided when he came out of a small state to run for president of the United States," and he pronounced himself "amazed" at the criticism.

The "most qualified of any that has run recently for vice president." More qualified than George H.W. Bush. More qualified than Al Gore or Jack Kemp. More qualified than the man who is currently running our government - Dick Cheney.

And Bill Clinton. Who had a law degree from Yale. And was a Rhodes Scholar. And was governor for over a decade. She's at least as qualified as Bill was, probably moreso.

OMFG.

It was enough to foist her upon us in the first place and pretend that she was qualified to run the country. But to offer this stunningly over-the-top endorsement is a transparent lie. And he knows it.

Meet a Candidate

Exactly as it appears in the Oregon Voters Guide:

State Treasurer

Michael
Marsh

Constitution

Occupation: Maintenance

Occupational Background: a variety of jobs

Educational Background: some college

Prior Governmental Experience: none

America is in danger and Oregon on the verge of collapse. Leaders of the Democrat and Republican parties with their Ivy League educations are either incredibly stupid or are deliberately destroying us. It is time to return to Constitutional Government and become once again a land of opportunity for Americans. We have entered, voluntarily, into a slave relationship, with our government masters.

Government licenses our activity from travel to marriage, they tax us to drain us of our sustenance, and then use our money to hire police and bureaucrats to come into our homes with warrants to kidnap our children, steal our property and deprive us of our liberty with no remedy-at-law.

In 2007 the legislature, including Ben Westlund, voted to put a toll on every road, bridge and bike path in Oregon with photo tracking devices. Once the Federal Real I.D. Act, which puts everyone into Biometric data base, is completed the Democrat/Republican leadership plan to merge the banks with the States and Federal treasury into one entity with all financial transactions being done by computer. Anyone who objects to any government policy will have their identification suspended and be unable to buy groceries and pay rent.

As State Treasurer, I will uphold and defend the Oregon Constitution.

(This information furnished by Michael Marsh.)

I Swear I Am Not Making This Up

I just got my Oregon Voters Guide Part II: Candidates today and I was perusing the candidate bios when I came across this from Cynthia McKinney's entry:

Cynthia McKinney served 12 years in the Unites States Congress as a courageous voice of peace and seeks make America more safe and better for all Americans.

The only logical explanation is that the powers that be don't want us to think Cynthia makes any sense, so they sabotaged her entry.

Bastards.

Bachelorettes in Alaska

I keep looking at the source of this story, trying to believe it's not The Onion. But it says it's the Sunday Times. Of London. And I have a hard time believing they'd publish something this batshit insane if it weren't well-sourced.

That said, OMFG I hope this is true:

In an election campaign notable for its surprises, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice- presidential candidate, may be about to spring a new one — the wedding of her pregnant teenage daughter to her ice-hockey-playing fiancé before the November 4 election.

Inside John McCain’s campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. “It would be fantastic,” said a McCain insider. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.”

[...]

McCain is expected to have a front-row seat at Bristol’s wedding and to benefit from the outpouring of goodwill that it could bring. “What’s the downside?” a source inside the McCain campaign said. “It would be wonderful. I don’t know that there has ever been a pre-election wedding before.” (via)

What's the downside?

What's the downside?!? The GOP candidate for POTUS getting a front-row seat at a nationally televised shotgun wedding is considered such PR gold that McCampaign can't see every mother in the country recoiling in horror at the thought of their daughter - who's still in high school - having her personal life politicized for the benefit of a creepy old man? Maybe?

Please make this happen. Please.

Now I'm a believer

I was skeptical the first time I was asked to make a contribution to DavePAC. Sure, "promoting Dave and all things Dave related" sounds like a good thing, and all you guys named Dave sure seem like decent folk, but what's in it for me, someone who's name is not-Dave?

Well now I know:



Contribute today.

Smoke them out of their caves - or corporate suites. Whatever

My favorite part of the "batshit insane political gimmick suspension of campaign to put Country First™" announcement, here in the last graf:

Following September 11th, our national leaders came together at a time of crisis. We must show that kind of patriotism now. Americans across our country lament the fact that partisan divisions in Washington have prevented us from addressing our national challenges. Now is our chance to come together to prove that Washington is once again capable of leading this country.

A not-so-subtle attempt to try and bottle some of his presumed national security gravitas to sprinkle on his woefully lacking economic chops, no?

BREAKING! Wobs to suspend blogging to address urgent beer crisis

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

My fellow OGians. Ours is a desperate time. It has come to my attention that there is a half-rack of Rogue Dead Guy Ale in my refrigerator that must be consumed. Should this consumption not occur, further half-racks of beer will not be able to fit inside the refrigerator, causing a cascade effect which may prevent countless hundreds of beers from residing on the shelf next to last night's leftovers.

The situation is grave.

In light of this crisis, I am hereby suspending my blogging to focus all of my attention on these pressing matters. As OGians, we can all agree that when there is an urgent need to drink beer, it is no time to blog. I further call upon my fellow bloggers to suspend their writing so that they may rush over to my house in order to help resolve this crisis. It is time to put the needs of my refrigerator above our need to pander to the feckless whims of our readership.

God bless you, and god bless the OG.

Psychoanalysts are totally loving this election

A few weeks back, we noted how a certain vice presidential campaign revealed deep-seated mommy issues amongst some of our conservative colleagues.

Now we have a delightful smattering of "kill daddy":



At one point, we thought her sole selling point was a rootsy genuineness and the ability to stay on script. Turns out she's not even good at that.

Dear POW McMaverick

If you want people working for you who will wander off-message in spectacular ways, I'll offer my services to you at half the price you're paying your current crop of amateurs. As my co-bloggers will attest, I can blow a talking point eight ways to Sunday.

Broken face

It appears that the Eleventh Commandment might no longer be operative:




(h/t tbogg)

To be sure, there's a bit of self-interest reflected in these vids. The former is the beta testing for Mitt! v.2012 (see update below). I have a sneaking suspicion that the latter reflects the propagandists at FOX recognition that their ratings bread will be buttered by flinging poo at an Obama administration rather than carrying water for Bush's third term.

However, I think there's something more interesting going on here (and with Rove's recent posturing) that lies beneath the surface. As dr has pointed out, there is a ferocious power struggle within the GOP right now, with three different constituencies fighting over who will control the party's corpse.

It's not news that McCain is not a particularly popular figure with the party faithful, and his campaign strategy of running against the GOP while promoting the party's ideas seems to me an impossible task. But with his selection of Palin, he's essentially sold his soul to the social conservatives who are a big enough plurality of the party so as to call the shots.

There's also a lack of recognition among the GOP about the bankruptcy of conservatism as a governing philosophy (a point which Obama is starting to hammer) - they basically think that their shit is an essential ingredient in eau de toilette.

All of this is to say that I think the internecine backstabbing within the GOP is to prepare McCain as a patsy for a loss in November. You'll note that Palin, despite her inexperience, corruption, and cronyism, is spared any criticism from the right, presumably in the belief that she is the amiable Bush-like character who can sell the extremist Republican agenda four years down the road. Should the GOP ticket lose in November (a possibility which many Republican pooh-bahs either recognize or are now actively abetting), the blame can be fixed on McCain's inept campaigning rather than the obvious shortcomings of conservatism (which, of course cannot fail - it can only be failed).

updated: via kos and Stoller, the Mitt! video is from the primaries. But I'll still stick with my conspiracy theory.

When you've lost Turd Blossom

Even Karl Rove thinks McCain has a small problem with the truth:



Parsing that out, it's clear that Rove doesn't have a problem with lying per se, but rather lying in campaign ads that have the imprimatur of McCain approving the message. Had the lies come out in, say, an ad put out by a 527 or in a push-poll, I'm sure he would have been high-fivin' Chris Wallace after delivering his "objective" analysis.

Heart Does Not Heart McCain-Palin

Since we all do the politique and the musique:

ST. PAUL, Minnesota (CNN) — Blasting through the Republican convention hall is the 1977 hit "Barracuda" by rock band Heart.

It's a shout-out to Sarah Palin. When she played basketball in high school, the soon-to-be Republican vice presidential nominee earned the nickname "Sarah barracuda" for her fierce competitiveness.

Some of her opponents revived the "Sarah barracuda" nickname after she became mayor of her hometown, Wasilla, in 1996, defeating a three-term incumbent.

UPDATE: Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart said Thursday night that Universal Music Publishing and Sony BMG have sent a cease and desist notice to the McCain-Palin campaign over their use of 'Barracuda.'

"We have asked the Republican campaign publicly not to use our music. We
hope our wishes will be honored," the group said in a statement that said they "condemn" the use of the song at the Republican convention.

You might want to check into that

I had the feeling that Palin wasn't carefully vetted before being offered the veep slot. Turns out I was wrong - she apparently wasn't vetted at all.

When ratfucks go bad

At this early stage in the game, it appears that the Maverick's gambit to select Sarah Palin as his running mate in order to woo disaffected Hillary voters isn't working out as planned. It's partially due to her Boss Hogg-esque levels of incompetence, but I think when it's all said and done, historians will point to the GOP being bitten in the ass by their own Rovian ratfucking operation.

It was clear way back in June that it would've been politically impossible for Obama to select Hillary as his running mate, mainly because it would have been construed as political weakness on his part. As the summer wore on, the media latched on to those who demanded that if Obama picked a female veep, anyone but Hillary would've been an insult to her supporters and a cravenly political move (which, in retrospect, I think the latter is true). I don't discount a fair number of Clinton supporters feeling this way in reaction to the perceived and actual sexism of the primary season, but I think it was Republican operatives who were most responsible in keeping that narrative alive in the hopes of sowing Democratic disunity.

However, in choosing Palin, the McCain campaign is running into the very buzzsaw that Obama would have run into had he selected Governor Sebelius of Kansas (or any other woman): they created an environment where any woman selected (especially one who hadn't earned her stripes like Hillary had) would be seen as a cynical ploy to attract Hillary's female supporters. Had the Republicans not spent all summer pushing the "no woman but Hillary" narrative, the Palin gamble might have had an outside chance of working. In this environment, however, I think a lot of people are seeing it for the blatantly political charade that it is.

Reap what you sow, motherfuckers.

See you at the debates, bitches

I am fairly certain that I have never given Paris Hilton more than a passing thought ever. But after seeing her video response to the "white-haired wrinkly dude's" ad that uses her likeness to insult Obama's presidential readiness, I have a new respect for the woman.

For another amusing take on John McCain's gender trouble, check out Women for John McCain. Here's a little gem for you, gleaned from that site:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"

~ John McCain (Tucson Citizen, 10/27/86, link, PDF microfilm scan)

Hee-larious.

For the more straightforward critique, be sure to skim Kate Sheppard's article, "McSexist" in the latest In These Times.

Loves it.

Peking Politics

I'm a little late in getting to this (I spent all day Sunday reading a great book), but apparently the Maverick is defending his gas tax holiday idea against the charge that no economist thinks it will work on two grounds:

1. No economist can begin to understand what it is like to be a poor person who has to drive long distances to work in an old car because "a lot" of economists are driven to work in chauffeured limousines.

2. He'll get oil companies to pass on the tax savings, instead of pocketing it, which the entire history of capitalism leads me (us, everyone but the McCain campaign) to believe will happen. How will he do this? He will "shame" them into it.

Obama is having a rough time right now, but it's stuff like this that helps me breath easier and remember that we will stomp this guy come November. Thank God Obama didn't bite on this canard like Hillary did because we should be able to use this weak-ass shit against him.

Now, if only Obama would show some "moxie" and say that we won't be drilling off-shore and in ANWAR because it would be bad for the environment, I will have hope again.

When the unfortunately named lash out

Meet John "Jack" Kass, columnist for the Chicago Tribune and world-class Obama hater. "Jack" Kass is angry:

"Did you ever notice that when John McCain is on TV he's always grumpy?" asked a colleague in the cafeteria who whispered, lest others denounce him for Barackian Thought Crimes.

"McCain's always made to look old and angry, a curmudgeon. And Barack Obama? He's always seen as presidential, cool, smiling, shaking hands," whispered the guy.

Now, a rational person would look at, say, this:



And then look at not only the candidate, but at his image consultants, asking, "Really, are you guys trying to lose?"

"Jack" Kass, however, is not rational. And who does he blame?

I believe this phenomenon is called liberal bias. And the country has caught on.

Since I mentioned it a few days ago, newspapers, Web sites, radio and TV news have been full of stories about media bias and outraged denials, recrimination and guilt. Always the guilt. Obama's people know we're guilty.

That's right, "Jack" Kass was the first to notice liberal bias in the media. Not just content to put lipstick on that old sow, he sprinkles in some queer innuendo:

Guilt is what McCain is playing on, too, trying to shame journalists with a new video with dueling sound tracks about the Media Love that Dares Speak Barack, featuring MSNBC host Chris Matthews shrieking that when he hears Obama talk, a tingle runs down his leg.

some astonishingly bad advice:

Predictably, McCain blew it by selecting lame songs for his video. He should have used "Barry Angel" sung to the old dusty "Johnny Angel" or my personal favorite, "Oh-Bama" sung to the 1958 hit, "Oh, Donna," back in the Route 66 days when McCain was young and not so old.

some more not-so-subtle innuendo:

Meanwhile, the Democrat Obama is treated quite differently. He's the Mr. Tumnus of American politics, the gentle forest faun of Narnia, with throngs of reporters trembling to sit with him at tea and cakes, like the little girl in the C.S. Lewis story, as he plays the flute, chanting "We Are The Change We've Been Waiting For." And nobody laughs.

Barack Obama is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

some bedwetting about "angry bloggers":

I hesitated to suggest this is because of liberal media bias, because the last time I said so, I was frightened and intimidated by the angry left blog Daily Kos, which has discovered that I'm not liberal. One Kos reader suggested that he'd read my column in the Tribune only "if the headline read 'Tribune Columnist Beaten to a Pulp.'"

and, just because you can't do it enough, a smidgen more innuendo, with bonus cult implications!:

Because the election is over, isn't it? Obama is president, all we're waiting for is the transcending, when a beam of light shines on Chris Matthews' face, carrying him to the heavens, smiling, that tingle running down his leg.

Poor, angry "Jack" Kass.

And further relationship advice

11. Women, older or otherwise < /end lame running gag >, don't particularly care for narcissistic jerks.


http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

[h/t Amanda]