i don't never go see no movies no more

but maybe i should start reading slashfilm.com anyway. see what i mean? no? look below.

Former US Football star Ken Harvey (Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins) will visit the Globa Space Technology Forum in Abu Dhabi next month in an effort to find financial backing for a film about playing sports in space, according to The National. The film tells a story of a young boy who joins “a space-sport team in his quest to avenge the death of his father and to win the rights to mine for Helium-3″, which is thought by some scientists to be a possible fuel. Yeah, the stoyline doesn’t sound too promising. Harvey is also promoting his company Space Sportilization, with the purpose of promoting interest in playing sports in space.

Real quick. Can I have a show of hands from those who're against playing sports in space?

Bachelorettes in Alaska

I keep looking at the source of this story, trying to believe it's not The Onion. But it says it's the Sunday Times. Of London. And I have a hard time believing they'd publish something this batshit insane if it weren't well-sourced.

That said, OMFG I hope this is true:

In an election campaign notable for its surprises, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice- presidential candidate, may be about to spring a new one — the wedding of her pregnant teenage daughter to her ice-hockey-playing fiancé before the November 4 election.

Inside John McCain’s campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. “It would be fantastic,” said a McCain insider. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.”

[...]

McCain is expected to have a front-row seat at Bristol’s wedding and to benefit from the outpouring of goodwill that it could bring. “What’s the downside?” a source inside the McCain campaign said. “It would be wonderful. I don’t know that there has ever been a pre-election wedding before.” (via)

What's the downside?

What's the downside?!? The GOP candidate for POTUS getting a front-row seat at a nationally televised shotgun wedding is considered such PR gold that McCampaign can't see every mother in the country recoiling in horror at the thought of their daughter - who's still in high school - having her personal life politicized for the benefit of a creepy old man? Maybe?

Please make this happen. Please.

OMFG

If even Katie Couric is looking at you with undisguised contempt...



In other news, some rube from Alaska got mugged in New York today.

Now I'm a believer

I was skeptical the first time I was asked to make a contribution to DavePAC. Sure, "promoting Dave and all things Dave related" sounds like a good thing, and all you guys named Dave sure seem like decent folk, but what's in it for me, someone who's name is not-Dave?

Well now I know:



Contribute today.

Smoke them out of their caves - or corporate suites. Whatever

My favorite part of the "batshit insane political gimmick suspension of campaign to put Country First™" announcement, here in the last graf:

Following September 11th, our national leaders came together at a time of crisis. We must show that kind of patriotism now. Americans across our country lament the fact that partisan divisions in Washington have prevented us from addressing our national challenges. Now is our chance to come together to prove that Washington is once again capable of leading this country.

A not-so-subtle attempt to try and bottle some of his presumed national security gravitas to sprinkle on his woefully lacking economic chops, no?

Department of Hookers and Blow

All this time I've been thinking the action was in the Crystal City hotels across the interstate from the Pentagon. Who knew that the party was happening over at Interior? Next I suppose we'll be learning that the BLM actually stands for Booze, Lechers, and Meth.

What happened to good drug etiquette?

Thanks to the NYT, I spent the evening familiarizing myself with the whole genre of Salvia trip YouTube videos (as an added bonus, it's also the first time I recall having seen the word "bong" appear in the Times). Back in my younger and wilder days, I was no stranger to all manner of psychedelics, and to be perfectly honest, I enjoyed them. Salvia, however, was my least favorite - I tried it once and had the worst experience of my life. It wasn't a good time. Some people enjoy it, and that's fine by me, but it's definitely not my cup of ('shroom) tea.

Watching the videos, though, made me realize we were downright civilized in our little adventures. A few thoughts:

• Tim Leary always talked about "set and setting" in having a good trip. We always managed to either be outside in a safe environment, at a show or club, or some comfy place to chill out. Watching these jokers get blasted in their dingy apartments doesn't seem like a lot of fun to me.
• You know what sucks when you're tripping? People pointing and laughing, and some jerk trying to "trip you out" with some sort of nonsense. People, just let the person enjoy their voyage.
• You know what would've sucked even more? Someone waving a camera in my face and documenting my trip.
• And really, posting it on YouTube? I don't care if the shit's legal, broadcasting to the world how fucked up you were is one of the stupidest uses of technology I've seen.

Take the advice from someone who's "been there," kids - turn off the camera, light up a doob, put on Dark Side of the Moon, and just relax. It's much easier on your constitution.

< /cranky old man >

Oh, fuck it. This one's pretty fucking funny.

And now, I digress

I've laid off the celebrity blogging for awhile now, mainly because celebrity antics no longer shock me. Really, how long can I go on spouting about drug-fueled escapades, gratuitous cooter shots, and fucked-up interpersonal relationships? It's all pretty fucking boring.

However, I'll make an exception for Amy Winehouse who, against all odds, appears to have OD'd on weed:

It was following this second overdose in July that doctors are worried her brain was damaged by the cannabis overdose after she displayed symptoms normally associated with schizophrenia.

The Back to Black star inhaled an 'inhuman' amount of hash that left her vomiting uncontrollably and hallucinating, according to her pal.

Back in the day, I'll 'fess up to some marathon pot-smoking sessions and methods of ingestion that turned the little weed into a hard drug (gravity bongs, anyone?). I've gotten so high that I... fell asleep.

But to smoke so much as to overdose and cause cognitive dysfunction? I have a hard time believing that it was solely hash-fueled, but damn - that shit's fucked up.

Engage the Caterpillar Drive!

I am, like all patriotic Americans, a sucker for receiving "free" trinkets in exchange for giving someone sums of money. As such, I have given the Obama campaign a smallish sum of money in exchange for a free bumper magnet and a free t-shirt. I would like to think that the come-on that these are "First Edition!" Obama-Biden magnets and shits had nothing to do with my decision to donate, but can't, as I made the donation.

If you're like me, you won't want to pass up your chance to make this world a better place by seeing Obama-Biden elected to office and get free stuff which, I understand, would make you the first on your block to possess what will surely become the most treasured item in your house (unless you have kids. Or a dog. Or one of those $150 toasters).

Thirty bones for a t-shirt.

Fifteen turnips for a bumper magnet.

You now, if each one of us true Americans, we little guys, we toilers and workers and kid raisers and guys who make the donuts, gave just a small amount to our preferred political candidate, then maybe we could take our country away from the special interests and labor bosses corporations and lobbyists, and once again make America the greatest country on Earth and earn the right to dominate the rest of the world and have all peoples serve our interests, like under JFK. It reminds me of the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin, when the world trembled at the sound of our rockets, now let them tremble at the sound of our micro-donations.

Terminate his career

This seems like a bright idea:

Schwarzenegger set to slash Ca. state workers' pay
By Kevin Yamamura and Jon Ortiz | Sacramento Bee

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger plans to sign an executive order next week intended to temporarily reduce pay for 200,000 state workers to the federal minimum wage of $6.55 per hour to preserve cash until lawmakers reach a budget deal, according to a draft copy of the order obtained by The Bee.

The governor's order also would terminate about 22,000 retired annuitants, temporary workers and seasonal employees, as well as impose a hard freeze that blocks the hiring of roughly 1,700 new employees per month.

Administration officials said the Republican governor expects to take the action Monday, when the budget will be four weeks late as Democrats and Republicans continue to spar over how to resolve a $15.2 billion shortfall.link

It will surely help his (rumored) run against Boxer.