Isn't Jolie French?

I know all of you have been getting excited about the possibility of an Atlas Shrugged movie coming out soon. I mean it doesn't have a writer, or director or anything, but with just about everyone going Galt and attending tea parties and whatnot, you just know it is going to happen soon.

Our good friends over at Big Hollywood, perhaps America's best website for wingnut discussion of popular culture, are already speculating on who should be cast in the lead roles, especially that of Dagny Taggart. She is not only the heart of the book, but she has been the main source of wingnut masturbation fantasies since 1952. As such, it is crucial that the actress be hotter than the proverbial baker's oven. But does she also have to be ideologically pure? The answer, at least from the comments I read, is no. Actually, the answer seems to be that one Angelina Jolie, who is hotter than the proverbial baker's oven, would be so awesome there is some effort to rehabilitate her.

Actually Ms Jolie is a pretty good choice for the role. She is nowhere near as far left as her fellow actors, gave a fairly good interview in '08 about McCain and the good he might bring (apostasy!) and from what we've gathered is a serious woman that the world takes seriously- she supposedly holds her own quite well in cabinet level meetings and knows more than her UN counterparts about Darfur and whatnot.

Scrolling through the comments, I see no objections to her on the grounds that she is twice divorced, a home wrecker, and/or living in sin with children. My how the wingnut opinion of single mothers has changed over the last year.

Anyway, the biggest fear, of course, would be that "Hollywood" would destroy the story because they don't "get it." This has been my biggest fear for some years. It also serves as a ready-made excuse for the all-too-predictable failure of the movie at the box office. I mean, we all know that Americans are dying to see a movie in which the richer/betters in our society laugh as civilization disintegrates. Especially if the last half-hour of the movie features a twenty-five minute radio address from a character who has only briefly appeared in the film up to that point. Can you imagine the cuts to all of our heroes listening intently to their radios while John Galt explains to the word that they will all die unless they cede complete control of the world to him and his chosen few? Riveting film going to be sure. America is ready, but Hollywood couldn't handle it.

Of course, it has been suggested that the book would work better as a seven-part miniseries a la John Adams, which is, of courser, even more true. Then, Galt's speech could take up a whole episode and we wouldn't have to cut any of the brilliance. That way we could spend an hour watching scenes of bridges collapsing and roving bands of marauders killing each other and rich people packing for the big get away all while listening to a disembodied voice tell us that all of that was a result of taxes. Obama would never let it happen.

Anyway, you buy the tickets, I'll buy the popcorn, and we'll laugh and laugh and laugh.

The GOP comeback starts here

Holy fucking crap. If I told you that the Republican chair of the House Policy Committee was writing really, really bad "literature" critique on a right-wing website would you believe me?

I kid you not.

He writes to tell us that Gran Torino is a conservative movie and Clint Eastwood's character is a true conservative. This assertion has been disputed elsewhere and I am not sure Representative McCotter is writing in some sort of response or not. You'd think, but then the only way he can come up with that Eastwood is a true conservative is that he brings order out of chaos in his neighborhood just like Reagan did with the nation (don't ask me). And he hates his "Yuppie" kids. This is, apparently, all it takes to be a conservative, because McCotter rejects the character's racism, acknowledges he probably votes Dem, and is a unionist.

Before you read what follows, remind yourself that this guy is a leader of the Republican party. Read it and smile:

Like Walt Kowalski’s kids who would blithely stow their “old man” in a human warehouse, most American’s believe they are “post-Detroit.”

They are wrong, because right now no one is post-disorder. If the rest of the nation facilitates the decimation of Detroit through malign neglect, deeper social, economic and political chaos will accelerate and spread from the Motor City to the rest of America. The “limo libs,” the globalist Gucci “conservatives,” and all arm chair ideologues will pale before the deluge and drown in their streams of intellectual adolescence. [!] All the while as the waters rise, an anxious citizenry will call out for intelligent, mature leaders - flesh and blood, heart and soul Gran Torino Conservatives - devoted to creatively achieving constructive change amidst Globalization’s chaos

Until these Gran Torino conservatives arrive to restore order, justice and freedom to our American home, “Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

NYC right now people horn

Dr Pepper Drinks Its Words on ‘Chinese Democracy’ Promise - ArtsBeat Blog - NYTimes.com
finally, a journalistic-ish update on the soda component of this Year in Rock.

Gambler's Care Package
I hope somebody with loose money is reading about this, a prospective xmas gift that couldn't've twinkled my heart-taser any more if it had been designed specifically for me. was it designed specifically for me? and all for a meager thorty clams!

What is Will Oldham's best work to date?
Paste wants to know. I'd answer in two-album clusters: it's either the Days in the Wake/Viva Last Blues clump or the Ease Down the Road/Master and Everyone one. On With the Show: Critic's Notebook: The New Yorker
Shucks! They're doing a stage production of Cassavettes' Opening Night in New York for five nights only? Somebody better go to this.

The Gods Must Have Moved to Australia

When I first saw this, I thought it was a joke. About halfway through I realized that it was a joke, but in a different sense than I originally meant.

i don't never go see no movies no more

but maybe i should start reading slashfilm.com anyway. see what i mean? no? look below.

Former US Football star Ken Harvey (Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins) will visit the Globa Space Technology Forum in Abu Dhabi next month in an effort to find financial backing for a film about playing sports in space, according to The National. The film tells a story of a young boy who joins “a space-sport team in his quest to avenge the death of his father and to win the rights to mine for Helium-3″, which is thought by some scientists to be a possible fuel. Yeah, the stoyline doesn’t sound too promising. Harvey is also promoting his company Space Sportilization, with the purpose of promoting interest in playing sports in space.

Real quick. Can I have a show of hands from those who're against playing sports in space?

1984 All Over Again

While I was nostalgizing 1984 earlier, I dialed up this listing of all the movies that came out that year. What a year. Sure cinephiles would blanch at the list, but for people around my age, it's a veritable what's-what of movies.

Take these weekends for example:

Feb 17: Blame It on Rio, Footloose
March 2: Against All Odds, This Is Spinal Tap, Repo Man
June 8: Beat Street, Ghostbusters, Gremlins
June 22: The Pope of Greenwich Village, Top Secret!, The Karate Kid
June 29: Bachelor Party, Cannonball Run II, Conan the Destroyer

Check it out. Lots more great movies.

Sometimes You Find It in Unlikely Places

From Roger Ebert's review of Flash of Genius:

I know that I sound just like a liberal, but at this point in history I am sick and tired of giant corporations running roughshod over decent people -- cutting their wages, polluting their work environment, denying them health care, forcing them to work unpaid overtime, busting their unions and other crimes we have never heard George Bush denouncing while he was cutting corporate taxes. I am sure lower taxes help corporations to function more profitably. Why is that considered progress, when many workers live in borderline poverty and executives have pissing contests over who has the biggest stock options?

But enough. I have "Flash of Genius" to review. Yes, I am agitated. I am writing during days of economic meltdown, after Wall Street raped Main Street while the Bush ideology held it down. Believe me, I could go on like this all day. But consider the case of Robert Kearns, played here touchingly by Greg Kinnear. He was a professor of engineering, a decent, unremarkable family man, and had a eureka! moment: Why did windshield wipers only go on and off? Why couldn't they reflect existing conditions, as the human eyelid does?

Ebert is not the most sophisticated movie critic and he has a soft spot for the schmaltz, but I've always enjoyed his writing and mostly agreed with his reviews. I love the fact that unions got a positive mention.

Roger, you've earned the OG's highest honor: BOOM!

Oh, What a Night!

I watched Obama rock my world. The OG did well. I got to talk to my friends. I played poker, which involved a group of us TWICE singing the UO fight song in the face of a Husky. Drank a bottle of cheap wine. Listened to this: loud enough that my ears still kind of hurt an hour later.

Now I am organizing the hell out of some grievances and trying to figure out the "plot" of Ghost Rider.

You know, sometimes life is pretty awesome.

And I try not to remember that the ability for me to enjoy my life is built on a mountain of exploitation.

Toby Keith: American Idiot

I was watching Colbert last night, which I know I shouldn't do, and Toby Keith was his guest. After some chit chat about his up-coming movie, Colbert expressed concern:

Here's my worry Toby...you're going to go all Hollywood, hanging out with Sean Penn, chaining yourself to whales...

After chuckling and assuring Stephen that no such thing would happen, Keith gets real for a moment:

You'd be surprised how many people in Hollywood actually come up -- there's a lot of Hollywood people in this movie -- but when I'm in Hollywood and stuff, you'd be surprised how many people come up to me and say 'Hey, we support the troops, it's nothing political about supporting the troops.'

Toby Keith is surprised that people in Hollywood "support the troops"? And he thinks Stephen Colbert or Colbert's audience might be surprised that "Hollywood people" support the troops? Christ on a shingle, this guy actually believes the right-wing talking points about "Hollywood" people and, I'm guessing, "liberals."

Although it occurs to me that wherein most people say "support the troops" to mean "care for then men and women who serve the US and hope they all come home safe and secure," Toby is probably interpreting "support the troops" to mean "want them to kill as many terrorists as possible and bring glory and honor to the US." Otherwise, you'd have to be as dumb as a post to actually believe that anyone in the US wants our troops put in harm's way or doesn't "support" them in the sense of wanting them to come home alive. For fuck's sake, I can't believe we're still five years into this thing and anyone not screaming "America, Fuck Yeah!" is viewed with suspicion until slipping Toby the appropriate code words.

We truly live in George Bush's America.

Woodstock My Ass

My lovely wife and I went to see the Hancock last night. I have to take her to all the Will Smith summer blockbusters, as she's made it clear to me that she loves the Fresh Prince more than me. Taking her to see the movies is my way of showing that I'm cool with that.

Anyway, Hancock was a fine film. You should go see it. Seriously, I'll wait.

Back? Okay, there was one thing that bothered me about the film [insert clip from the movie Clue of Martin Mull saying, "One thing!?" Classic.] Jason Bateman's character, as you know, just having watched the film, is a bleeding heart liberal and so is his smoking hot wife, whom he managed to score despite having a young kid and no visible source of income, but that's not what bothers me, as I, too, have a smoking hot wife whom I landed while working at Taco Time. So what bothered me is the Woodstock poster they have on their bedroom wall. I know this is hard for people over the age of fifty to understand, but those of us in our mid-thirties who have hearts that bleed for the suffering in the world, do not look to the 1960s for inspiration. Well, maybe a little, but we do not hang framed Woodstock posters in our bedrooms. There would have been hundreds of other ways for set decorator Rosemary Brandenburg to emphasize the fundamental nature of these characters without resorting to Woodstock. Woodstock was the defining event of the previous generation.

Alright, let's get our Independence Day freak on!

TGIF!