A Is A

Our good friend Ayn Rand taught us that there are no contradictions in this world.* If we arrive at an apparent contradiction, then we must reexamine our premises to find our error. This bit o' thinking is serving our friends across the aisle well these days, as they are forced to reexamine their premises. Here's what they had pre-election:

1. America is a center-right country.
2. Obama is a socialist-Marxist-terrorist.
3. Therefore, America will not elect Obama president.

Obama's election is an apparent contradiction, premises must be reexamined.

Obviously, one course of action would to be to blame the media for convincing Americans that they are not, in fact, center-right. And, as we know, there has been much blaming of the media. Never before in the history of mankind has the media been so in the tank for one candidate. Just look a Jay Leno's monologues for Christ's sake. (Oh, God, please don't. You'll hurt yourself.)

The problem here is that A is A. To suppose that the media could convince Americans to temporarily forget that they are center-right would be to acknowledge that A is sometimes not A, which causes a rip in the fabric of space-time, which could be dangerous, given that, as of yet, we have no way of routing a tachyon beam through the deflector shield.

So we must go back to those original premises. Perhaps the easiest route would be to conclude that maybe there is a fundamental problem with the first premise. To do so would be treason.

So, we must look at the second premise, that Obama is a socialist-Marxist-terrorist. Thank God for Sherlock Holmes, am I right? He taught us that when one has eliminated all possible solutions, save one, that one answer has to be correct, no matter how illogical. Let's take another stab at our logic puzzle, shall we?

1. America is a center-right country.

We know this is correct, because to believe otherwise carries implications too frightening to contemplate. Plus, conservatives really, really want to trumpet exit polling showing that voters identify conservative.

2. ???

3. Therefore, Obama wins the presidency.

What could fill that spot? America is center-right and Obama won. Then, logically, Obama must be center-right? No? Yes!

No one has put this as explicitly as Brent Bozell, but it ungirds the whole "If Obama governs from the left, then he'll lose the American people" line of bullshit.

And this same line of thinking explains the "Bush as liberal" line that was being advanced and is now accepted dogma all over wingnutia. His failure can only be explained by his being a liberal.

Obama is a Reaganite, while Bush is a big-government liberal. Good to know that even after the election, for some people white is still black and black is still white.


*I am aware that is not original to Rand, but like all good Americans I believe in only two philosophizers, Jesus and Rand, in that order.