Tobacco madness!

It's hard to know what's most delightful about this report from the UK on the travails of the Dutch coffee house:

But the new law bans tobacco inside cafés and restaurants, meaning cannabis users are now forced to light up potent and heady pipes and joints loaded with pure marijuana.

Sophie, a 20-year-old student from Manchester, did not enjoy the experience of smoking neat "skunk", a powerful cannabis hybrid blamed for higher rates of mental illness among some drug users.

Sorry about that. Just had to get that out of the way. Ahem. Where were we?

"This stuff is much stronger than we are used to back at home. We were off our heads too quickly and I have been very sick," she said.

Olli, a young Swedish tourist, described how the tobacco ban was driving smokers onto the streets and spoiling the coffee shop experience.

"It has always been about being with other people inside the café. It is not the same standing outside in the street," he said. "If it is pure it is more expensive and it gives you a cough."

Okay - I just don't get the European custom of ruining perfectly good weed with tobacco. It's too strong? Don't smoke the entire spliff! Save some for later! Pinch off a little and do a bong-hit. You have options, people!

Peter, a middle aged Dutchman, blamed Christian politicians, making up the coalition government, for a backdoor attempt to close down coffee shops.

"It is a Christian Taliban. They want to impose a Christian ideology on the Netherlands. These are people who still think women are second class citizens."

I'm not completely up on the political scene in the Netherlands, but I do feel compelled to point out that you can still fucking smoke pot in the coffee shops. Smoke your cig outside! Jeebus, I suppose it's a small sign of progress that they've moved past comparing it to the Nazi occupation.

The Dutch Food and Consumer Product Safety Authority has trained 200 inspectors to detect the difference between a "mixed or a pure joint".

Oh?

Are there job openings? Because we have a highly trained cadre of experts who would sooner smoke banana peels before adulterating their reefer with tobacco. And I hear they're underemployed.